I need to step up and be the Artistic Director of SAK with a renewed sense of energy. Many things and excuses had resulted in most all of my time being absorbed with management drivel. Many of those absorptions the result of not spending the time and energy on artistic things.
If I was going to share the wheel with the obvious creative core of energy at SAK I would have to step up my efforts as the Artistic Director to offer the opportunities they desired to innovate and express their creative energy.
At this point I encouraged myself to take the advice I recommend in the Quantum Vision. When coaching someone who is struggling and frustrated with a vision that is stagnant and not moving forward I ask them to first look at their core values. Most times, the culprit in a stalled vision without forward movement is the lack of alignment in vision and core values. When this is the case, one or the other will have to change - either the vision will have to be modified (if possible) to properly pair with the core values, or the values will have to be reviewed for truth. Maybe they are not your core values, only what you wish your core values were. I should point out that this is rarely the case. We tend to live and make default choices according to our values - they are the core and catalyst that drives us. It probably means our vision will require some revision.
It makes great sense that I have been challenged in my vision for SAK. I value SAK very highly and I do indeed have values that relate to the vision I have for SAK, but I realize the priority of my values for family trump the values I hold for SAK. The ultimate realization? To be the Artistic Director of SAK demands the same schedule as to be the present and involved father of my children. Both are nights - and weekends. Not only to view and participate in shows, but to create anything new and innovative would require additional presence on other non-performance nights. What the heck! I can't do that! Um... I haven't been doing that. I haven't been choosing that. I have been choosing something very different. Wait a second - I can't be the Artistic Director of SAK!
I probably should have realized this inevitable conclusion a while ago. I guess the defense is things were so hectic getting the next weekend of shows done there was too much preoccupation. Well, in retrospect, I just couldn't stand the thought of me not being the Artistic Director of SAK. I love SAK. It's like a child of mine. But clearly that can not be done by me if I am to stay true to my values. Well, now I've done it. No turning back. To complicate matters, I realize I can't pass of the Artistic Directorship of SAK and hold on to the Managing Directorship. If I am to consider this transition, it's got to be all the way. SAK will be stronger if the same core of energy is handling both the Artistic side and the Management side, so the two will be working in concert with each other. The creative core that will inevitably receive the keys to the car should have access to the resources available.
Well, that means more time opened up to clean this pool!
End of Part 4
Next installment - How will this transition work!